Ironman Texas 5-18-2013

PreRace

It takes me all day Wednesday to pack. All athletes MUST check in by 4pm on Thursday, no exceptions. I think that is so absurd to have to check in 2 days before the race but what do I know? Sooo, most people that race an ironman have crazy support groups, be it family or friends but I was heading to The Woodlands alone because my Jeff had to work. I realize now that packing and planning for an ironman is far more extensive than a road race or crit. This is one reason why I am a cyclist...not a triathlete. I leave Thursday morning and meet up with 3 fabulous “Iron-Whiners” at checkin. 

Linda is a good friend I swam with in High School (she is the reason I signed up for this race), Kris and Aixa are both super nice and were Linda’s training partners. I was unable to train much with them because I was racing early season road races. These girls would adopt me onto their team for the weekend, and they loved to wear matching outfits.

 I would get text messages with “matchy-matchy” dress codes and it was a big hit everywhere we went.  We were all in green and black matching lululemon outfits and scored interviews with Dave Erickson (Ironman bigwig) at the checkin expo. It was hilarious when he said I was a tell tale triathlete because of my tan lines. I looked into the camera and said, “I am a CYCLIST!” Then I told him I hadn’t done any open water swims because I was afraid of fish...I think he was unsure if I would finish the race at all. Linda offered out her goal for the swim, hoping to snag a sub hour swim.

After getting checked in and interviewed we had lunch and then went to the hotel. I was in a hotel room with Linda and the other two girls had their own rooms because everyone’s family was coming on Friday. 

Friday comes and we still have a whole day to sit and stew and get nervous and have anxiety. The pre-race events are the most nerve-racking moments for me and I DO NOT LIKE the fact that it is so drawn out over 2 days of preparing. That is like 15 bathroom trips. ugh! We wake up to go check out the swim course. I decide to rebel and not match with the pink and white this morning and end up inadvertently matching Kris's most awesome husband Robert. That's some funny shit.

We are allowed into the water for practice and it is borderline wetsuit legal temperatures. At 76 degrees or less you are allowed a wetsuit, if it’s over that then you are not allowed to wear one. Wetsuits benefit weaker swimmers so I hope the water temperature raises. Besides, my wetsuit is over 10 years old and it is a huge task for me to stuff my fat body into it. So we get into the lake and it is so dirty you can’t see anything! I immediately raise my feet and am floating on my belly. I don’t want any bottom feeding lake monster to get me! So I am doing a ridiculous doggy paddle like movement while the iron whiners are walking beside me, water up to their thighs. I survive lake practice then we go shower and get the bikes and transition bags ready for drop off. MANDATORY drop off before 3pm or no race. UGH! All this prep stuff is getting old. So we get our bikes and bags in the right spot. 

The Matchy-Matchy outfit of the day was pink top and white bottoms. I do not own a pink top so I was different. Unacceptable. We made a trip to Lulu where I bought a pink top. There, everyone was happy again.

    
We had a big lunch then I started to get a headache. A HORRIBLE HEADACHE!! I knew it couldn’t be a migraine, it didn’t feel the same. Then Aixa, the physician, figured out that I was having caffeine withdraws. A coke  later and with a hand full of Kris's ibuprofen I was back in business. Linda’s husband finally arrives and I am ready for the friggin race already. I get everything lined up for the morning so I can wake up at the last possible minute. We are leaving the hotel at 4:30AM!!! So I lay down and as soon as my eyes close I hear the shriek. OH NO! What is it?! Linda staggered backward. COCKROACH! NOOOOOOOOO! I hate roaches, and this was a big one. Linda’s husband killed it but I knew there were more. There had to be more! I wasn’t going to get good sleep now. Super hydrated, I went to the bathroom at midnight and there was another one on the bathtub. I threw a towel at it. Then I ran to bed. In the morning I found one in my water bottle bag! I was not happy. Attack of the roaches. 

4:20AM we get ready in silence and head to Linda’s car. Her husband drops us off at transition so we can air our tires and do last minute nutrition prep. I find someone to help me pump up my disc and double check everything. This is it. The BIG Day. I am ready. Ready for it to be over. I find the girls and we are heading to the swim start, about a mile away. Linda realizes she has lost her timing chip and terror sets in. Poor thing, that makes my stomach drop for her. So, we hustle to the start so she can get a new chip, and we still need to get marked. As soon as Linda is marked she sprays on sunscreen and her number smears. PLEASE let that be the worst of it! I look around and see 3000 swim caps, half green (men) and the other half pink (women). 3000 is a lot! Panic. Panic attack. I disappear from the girls at this point and slip into the water. 

THE RACE

The water was too warm for wetsuits but I shivered as I swam out to the buoy. The Pro athletes gun went off. They played the national anthem. I was treading water 5-10 minutes. I was getting kicked. It was like a rave dance in the water, I had like 8 people invade my personal space, but I held my ground. I looked to the shore and there were still tons of people on land. Just then the second gun sounded and that was for US! 

Go Go GO! There were too many people in the way to site the buoy so I just “sat in the pack”. I got swam over, felt up, and dunked. I drank some water that I am sure had duck poop particles. I swam over people, felt people up, kicked and elbowed people. FULL ON COMBAT SWIMMING! I never got kicked in the face so I was happy. I made it to the first turn (1/3 mark) and noticed I was in a pack of green caps. I was with the men. Is this good? No clue, but men are bigger and it hurts more in combat! It feels like forever before the next turn but when it comes I know that I only have 1,000 more meters. The last stretch is in the canal, 4 feet deep by 20ish feet wide. The water peleton bottlenecks here and the canal turns into a horrible, turbulent, duck poop washing machine. And it curves so you have no clue when it will be over. This section I swallowed a large amount of water. I tried to pee because I didn’t want to have to pee on my bike. Just in time! I see the exit. Phew. That was the longest swim ever. People lift me out of the water, and I stumble, I am dazed. I run to get my bag and notice a lot of bags are still there. I must have had a solid swim. 

In the transition tent I pull out Jeff’s new dorkball helmet (Giro Air Attack) and assemble the visor. Jeff instructed me to take my time in transition and not dent, scratch, or chip the new helmet. So I have it wrapped in a swaddle...haha! The helpers looked at me like I was Cray-Cray. So I get my stuff on and I am on my way to my bike. Gloved volunteers attacked me with sunscreen and scared the crap out of me. I roll out of transition covered with white streaks of sun block all over my arms and legs. 

I don’t care, I am HAPPY. Happy I am on my bike, in my element. I look down and my stupid garmin still hasn’t aquired....UGH! A few minutes or miles later it is good and the game is on! I see long lines of cyclist spaced out perfectly so they do not get penalized for drafting. I hug the yellow line and blow by all of them. I feel good! A few DBs (douche bags) try to repass and we end up in a power struggle. I keep the pace hard, but below my redline, I don’t wanna have to roll my eyes back. I wave to the spectators, I am having fun. Mile 20 comes faster than I expect and I am doing good. Time to eat. Fun sized paydays and mini cliff bars are in my bento box (picnic basket on top tube). Gu is shoved in my unitard suit and my sport leg pills are velcroed to my stem in a old lady pill box. There are feed zones every 10 miles and I will have to start getting water handups. It is getting HOT. My rule is to eat something every 30 minutes. I make it to the first check point and look down. Average is 24 mph! Nice. I know I have a tail wind though. After the turn around I noticed the headwind. The wind had picked up too. Drat! Focus. Keep picking people off. I haven’t seen a girl in a while. Still feel good. Mile 90 and I am ready to be done. I start getting hot spots on the balls of my feet. I haven’t stopped once. Then it happens. WHAM! Pain, bad, stinging pain. I swat at my thigh but it is too late. I veer off the shoulder of the road but stay up right. I get back onto the road and look down. The bee’s stinger was sticking out of my thigh. Fuck. Keep going. I am allergic to bees. Just wait and see. I press on and try to focus on something else. So I crunch numbers and realize if I push it that I may be able to go sub 5 hours. It’s ON! I came in hot to transition and because my garmin started late I wasn’t sure if I had made my goal. I knew it was close though. As I am running my bike to rack it, a volunteer tries to take it from me. We engage in a bit of tug-o-war with my bike being the rope until I realize that they are suppose to do it for you. Opps, so I thank her, take my garmin off and head to the transition bag area. Back in the tent, I am super careful as I pack up the helmet, wrapping it in a soft towel. The volunteers are rushing about and I tell them to relax. They told me, “Don’t you realize that you are in 1st place? You are the first amateur female off the bike!” I laughed and said that’s where my "race" ends. I then notice the swollen, deep purple lump on my leg and call for the medics to remove the stinger and give me topical cream and Benadryl. I left my dpi-pen at the hotel but I think I am in the clear now.

I take my time in the tent before I head out for the run. This is when stuff goes downhill (for most everyone on this day). I am not upset because I wasn’t expecting big things on the run. The heat index was now at 104. This was 3 loops of 9 miles. I ran the first 2 miles then fell into the run-walk phase. I walked every aide station at every mile. When I could no longer run I just settled into a fast speed walk. People I had passed on the bike were now passing me. I stopped halfway through and ate my sandwich and changed socks. There were really hot guys in speedos dancing under a bridge, and I joined them for a shimmy. At one point I looked down the road and as far as I could see everyone was walking. EVERYONE! I didn’t feel bad. 

I was doing the best that I could, pushing as much as I could. I was so happy to see that finish line. 12:07 (1:14 swim, 4:59 bike, 5:40 speed walk)! Glad I got that out of my system. Now where is my road bike!!!!?????

After the finish it was pretty anti-climatic. I had no phone and there were so many people everywhere. I couldn’t find anyone that I knew. So I walked back to transition a mile away and got my bike and bags. Then I road 3 miles back to the hotel where I collapsed. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I no longer cared about the roaches. A few hours later I finally got a hold of the girls. Linda finished and was taken to the hospital for sodium deficiency, Aixa had been vomiting the last 7 miles and was in the medic tent getting an IV, and Kris was fine but had also been stung by a bee. But, WE WERE ALL IRONMEN!!!! What an adventure.