Pre Race
With an ironman just two weeks in my past, I find myself in another all day packing cluster. It was Wednesday and I was leaving tomorrow morning with Doug and Nathan for Emporia, Kansas to race the big DIRTY KANZA 200. This is a well known epic monster race that is 200 miles in the unsheltered flint hills (mountains) of Kansas. Packing shouldn’t be as bad though because there will be no swimming or running but I have to pack food and supplies for all kinds of conditions. There will be 3 checkpoints along the route to make sure no one is cutting the course. Every racer is instructed to have mandatory support since we will be in extreme isolation with no stores along the way. If you do not have a person that will be your support, you can pay extra for PavLoveGrub who will provide you with food and a ride if you decide to bail out. They will also take a care bag to each check point of personal stuff you provide them with the day before. So I am careful to ration out mini cliff bars, sour patch kids, and snack sized paydays, arm warmers, extra shoes and socks, a fresh kit (in case I crap myself), lights, vests, and rain jackets into 3 separate bags.
Thursday morning comes and we head out at 9am. The forecast looks dismal and I start thinking about how epic Saturday will be. Just as we pass through Austin Nathan realizes that he forgot his Platypus bladder and spends the next 30 minutes stressing out. So we reroute through Dallas so we can hit an REI that he knew of. After REI (which I was good and made no purchases) and a Chick-fil-a stop, we were back in business. Time flies by and we are in Oklahoma where the sky gets dark and the wind starts turning stuff sideways. We see a funnel form and storm chasers pulling off the side of the road. What should we do? Do we stop or do we continue? Which ones are the idiots? We decide to just press on, and drive right under it. We arrive in Emporia sometime around 9pm and stop to eat at a local pizza shop. After dinner we meet up with the Slauson family (Jim, Terri and Will) and learn that our Bed and Breakfast is HAUNTED!!! There was a portrait of a little girl and her eyes would follow people around. Freaky, but as long as there were not any roaches, I was fine. Slept good.
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| Nathan at REI. Not even an hour on the road and he realizes he forgot something. :-) |
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| Oklahoma Tornado Alley! |
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| Moore tornado destruction |
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| White Rose Bed & Breakfast, our haunted house for the weekend. One street over from the race start. |
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| Terri reading the Safety Tips while sitting next to the portrait of the ghost girl. |
Friday morning I woke up and everything was wet from a night of rain. Drat. We had breakfast waiting for us on the big rap-a-round porch. Doug was quietly displeased when he noticed green bell peppers in the egg casserole. I learned last night how he was traumatized as a kid, being forced to eat stuffed peppers. We ate then headed out to pre-ride the first bit of the course. It wasn’t wet at all! It was a nice, tightly packed, flat, gravel road. This was going to be easy! The rest of the day consisted of resting, picking up our race packets, dropping off our checkpoint bags and attending the pre-race meeting. The meeting was packed and had a cool video but I was a bit disappointed that I learned nothing new that would help me during the DK. Waste of time. So back to the haunted house where the Slauson crew fell asleep before the sunset. I knew it would be a sleepless night but I laid my kit and equipment out for the next day and crawled into bed.
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| Doug and Jim accidental matchy-matchy |
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| Terri and me at breakfast |
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| To fart or not to fart? Jim, Will, me, Doug |
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| nice pre-ride |
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| Jason, serious Doug, Nathan, Kevin, Will, Jim, and me ready to tear up some gravel |
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| Found this artwork on Commercial Drive. Crocheted bicycle and lock. |
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| Granada Theatre: DK200 headquarters. |
THE RACE
Saturday
5:15am, time to wake up. The race starts in 45 minutes. I get ready in a nervous rush. Terri and Jim are also getting ready. Will is still in bed. I knew that boy would wait until the absolute last moment to get out of bed. Terri had his stuff all laid out and he was served breakfast in bed. Now for those of you who know me, I have to be at the start at least ten minutes prior, so I silently festered in agony until I could no longer stand it and I was out the door. I told the Slauson’s good luck. Terri and Will were doing the half pint distance (111.4 miles) and Jim didn’t want to start in the front. I had other plans. I wanted to race with Rebecca Rusch. I wanted to see how long I could hang, then when I fell off, I would simply wait for Jim, Nathan, and Doug. I just wanted to give it a try. Kevin, Jason, and Lee rolled up to the line with me. 5 minute countdown. This was going to be a LONG day. I see her - Rebecca Rusch, only 5 people to my left. My heart started pounding. This is really happening.
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| The Start |
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| Roll out |
6:00am: Go! The 600 people on the line start rolling. We have a mile of pavement then turn onto the gravel. I am in the lead group and Kevin is right behind me, babysitting. The group is moving fast and is large. I knew there would be a crash but did not expect to be in it. Sure enough, less than 5 miles in the pack started to slinky and my front wheel ended up next to someone else’s back wheel. At that exact moment, he jerked his bike to avoid a rock and took out my front wheel. Down I went. I rolled up like sonic the hedge hawg and caught sight of my bike just as Dallas rider, Chaos, rode over my frame and saddle. Noooooo. Kevin stopped and grabbed my bike and I did a quick check.Everything seemed fine so I jumped back on and kept going. I immediately noticed that saddle was broken, the left side was way lower than the right. KEEP GOING. I can deal with this. Kevin made it back onto the end of the lead group and I did not. I panicked. I let them go. Back up plan: Wait for my boys and ride with them as long as possible and TRY to finish. I look down and blood is rolling down my shin from a meaty gash on my knee. My saddle----ugh! I cannot believe this happened to me. I am in shock. I pedal on and find Lee who informs me that he went out too hard. Geesh, that sucks. We are less than 10 miles in and falling apart!!!! Then the first obstacle...a huge mud pit that you’d find a a tough mudder. I jump off and carry my bike around the far side of it. Once on the other side, we find Jason with a flat. I help and Lee stops also. Then I see them! Nathan, Doug, and Jim! Doug tries to level out my saddle and the rail snaps out of the back. But it lies flat now so as long as I am gentle, it should be ok. The flat gets fixed and we all forge on together. Shortly later, Lee falls off the back and Jason disappears off the front. With just us 4, we settle in to a good pace. We are making good time and then it appears...the white water creek crossing. There is a kayak in the crossing - this is insane. So we get off and lift the bikes up and start wading across. The water is up to our knees. Yikes. Maybe this will wash the blood off my shoes. I laugh because Jim is wearing sandals and Nathan’s bike weighs more than he does. I sure hope this contaminated water does not infect my knee. We make it across a few other obstacles and soon find ourselves at checkpoint one.
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| Accidental regrouping with a few mechanicals |
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| Nice view of rolling hills |
9:30am Checkpoint One: Ok, we made nice time, just under 3 and a half hours. And that was with a tailwind... After some quick guess math I figure we will have around 16 hours of chamois time. We spend 10 minutes in the PavLove Grub tent. There were lovely ladies that filled up our bottles and fed us. I didn’t put clean socks in my bag so I must continue on with cow poo river soaked socks. I cleaned up my knee the best I could and we were back on the gravel road. Up and Down, Up and Down, UP, UP, and UP. Head wind, cross wind, head wind, cross wind. UGH! I continue on, barely surviving, scrapping on the back of wheels. I did not pull, I could not pull, I was hurting in every way imaginable. My mental guard went down and I was not well. I sucked it up and tried to find a happy thought to hold onto. On one of the hills Jim got stuck in a rut and took a little dirt nap. It was this leg of the ride (notice that it is no longer a race but a ride) that the obvious MVP and the apparent anchor would emerge. Nathan was constantly on the front pulling and was repeatedly told by Jim to slow down with by using the key word “PHILLIPS!!!!!!” (his last name). I was desperately clinging onto the back just waiting for my elastic band to snap. It didn’t. We emerged onto a paved road and I almost cried because it felt so good. We rolled downhill into the next checkpoint.
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| Doug, Jim and I with a few randoms. PHILLIPS!!! in front of us. |
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| seas of green |
1:30pm Checkpoint Two: LUNCH TIME!!! And a pair of way overdue dry, fresh socks! We spent 30 minutes here and I sat on a blanket to eat a subway sandwich. Today I learned that if you are hungry enough, you will eat anything. After 7 1/2 hours on the bike, I ate a sandwich with turkey/ham/mayonnaise/lettuce/tomato on it. I don’t think I even tasted it. We are only half way!!!!!! I send Jeff a wellness text and Jim checks on Terri and Will. They are making good time on the half pint. We head out with the wind at our backs and I enjoy it because I know it will not last too long. Sure enough, I see the nasty pink ribbon directing us to turn into the wind, now pushing us to the side. I soon find the only stick in Kansas and lodge it firmly into my rear derailleur pulley. It takes two of us and a multi-tool to free it. Then Jim’s water bottle cage breaks and his sandal cleat needs tightening. Nathan and I pull off to wait and see a full moon as a nerdy librarian decided to disrobe for a potty break. We pass people and people passed us all day. A few we see multiple times. Jim is insistent on chasing down and passing anyone with a leg tattoo...and there were quite a few of those. I am hungry again but can no longer eat my cliff bars, they just sit in my mouth refusing to dissolve. I try for my sour patch kids and have better luck. We run across a few Austin boys. We finally approach the final checkpoint where my friend, Cy, from the Red River Riot was volunteering and escorted us into the little town.
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| Nathan, Doug and Jim |
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| Doug and Nathan. This was my view for most of the day. |
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| Over half way |
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| Lee, serious Doug, Nathan, Jason, me, Terri, Will, Jim, Nathan |
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| Normal Cattle Guard |
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| Poopy cattle guard (not the same one from DK, but similar idea). DK's had ~3 gaps |
I am so thankful I had Jim, Nathan, and Doug with me. Hard times always reveal true friends. Terri had pizza waiting for us. Jason had finished well, and Kevin finished 40 minutes before us. Lee had a crash and had to bail at mile 100. I went over to the medics and they did a good job of cleaning around my injuries. I had to go back to the haunted house and soak in the bath and clean my wounds. Jim took out his medical kit and stapled the laceration on my hip. No one was partying as they had planned on doing. It was a train wreck. We swapped stories with Terri and Kevin and then all just went to bed. A lot can happen in 15 hours, no matter how many bad things happen and how badly you hurt, DO NOT QUIT.
Sunday. 4:30am. Cannot sleep. It hurts to move. It hurts to breathe. White sheets. That is what was on my bed. These white sheets now had oozing blood stains on them. I get on facebook and see Nathan and Doug are awake. The coffee shops in Emporia are closed on Sundays. Today would be a long drive back to San Antonio.
Hands down the DK was harder than Ironman TX. DK there was blood, sweat, and tears. IMTX there was only sweat. At DK I bargained with God, I praised God, and I threatened God. I am pretty sure Doug needs a skin graph on his taint, pretty sure Jim will only wear sandals from now on, and pretty sure Nathan will not take those aero bars off his dirty cockpit bike.
Every epic race/ride has memorable quotes:
“The maps don’t really help you” - JS
“110miles?! Might as well do the full 200.” -TS
“What is that??!! I didn’t get one!” -TS
“I already got my tattoo. It says rumple....” - DF
“That looks like a penis, only smaller” -
“There is somebody for everybody” -JP
“Saving it for good” -DF
“Cows are no different than people” - JS
“Drilling it for 200th place...couple of cat 5s” -JS
“Leg tats- we will catch them and we will pass them” -JS
“Carmichael- I didn’t buy the training package, I bought the drug package” -NP
“PHILLIPS!!!!” - JS
“Idiots and maniacs” -TS
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| Emmy, our PavLoveGrub HOTTIE |
I'm coming next year just to hang out in the PavLoveGrub tent!!
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